Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Fantasies .... and reality :)

Last few days have been interesting, well! A little more than interesting. I had to take off from project as I desperately needed a break and haven’t been home (jammu) for more than a year now. still instead of rushing home to meet my darling nephew and spend some time with family , I just stayed at home at Bangalore .I thought I’ll be reading some technical stuff , but end up partying and reading novels ….and yes ,sleeping. I have been partying a lot of late, meeting new people and visiting new places, and with that come different experiences.


So, I went out with this cool couple .we had fun time .We talked crap all night and boozed and danced away the evening .And after two days , I get this message from this guy that what I think about threesome . He put this thought forward as if it was the most natural thing to follow after that evening .Surprisingly , I wasn’t appalled or even thrilled .My reaction was a hearty laugh at the thought and polite No as answer .In fact ,in theory I find multi-partner sex quite interesting , at the same time I cannot imagine myself a part of this sexual experimentation.

As far as I am considered, I cannot dream of sharing my partner with anyone , and at the same time I cannot be intimate with anyone unless I am really in love with the person . so, such an experimentation is out of question ..At least as of now. But at the same time , I don’t think it’s a bad deed for people who are anyways in relations because of reasons other than love .If it’s just for fun relation, then why not have more fun .


I discussed this with couple of my friends ..let me share the reactions.
First guy was like go ahead , we hardly meet such couples in real , there is no harm in trying this .And when I said , I am not interested , his reaction was “ Are you afraid of getting naked in front of a couple at the same time?” afraid was definitely what I was feeling .after few minutes he was like “ Do it if you are upto some fun and experimentation and if you like the couple ..or just say no and enjoy ..:) He was also pretty much cool with the idea.
The second dude suddenly was all attentive and wanted more details. How do I know the couple? How long we have been friends? What the guy exactly said ? What was my reply? What all we talked on that day when we were partying? And all such questions .after a brief analysis came the response “ What about converting threesome into foursome ?and then I disappointed him by telling that I don’t indulge in casual sex .Of course he was just teasing me but then I cannot rule out that this didn’t give him ideas.
I am yet to discuss this with my gal pals, will keep you guys posted of their reactions.
Now this situation made me sit down and think, Is casual sex for fun has really come out of fantasies and find a place in our homes. So, My question to you my fellow friends is “How would you react to this question/ situation in real life”. Has any one of you faced such situation and has anyone indulged in this in real? I know that most of the guys would jump at the opportunity, but I want to know if the same guy is really OK with his partner to be involved in this. have you ever discussed the topic with your partner ?I would particularly want to know what the ladies think about this. What would be your reaction if your partner suggests such experimentation? And if ever you are game for it, will you like to go with a known friend or a total stranger.
I know most people will publicly condemning the idea , it might be even disgusting to some .But here what I am looking for is not a debate on society , family values and culture .I am seeking answers about the feeling part .what’s your natural guilt free reaction to it ? Deep within what you think about the whole issue of multi-partner sex.

I wrote this all over a cup of coffee at 5:30 Am at the airport yesterday. Some thoughts just can’t stay in, they have to be poured .
More about the journey …in the next blog …and if you have noticed I am back to blogosphere after a long break.

29 comments:

moi said...

well I find it dirty.I don't know how three people enjoy it.

moi said...

And yes you are back after a long time, so welcome, what kept you away? waiting for your next post.

Imaweiner said...

ho ho ho...perils of adulthood.. :P

p.s : this is chottu aka pixie :)

Renu said...

Back after a long time.

This idea is totally repulsive to me.

I believe in making love..understand my point? to me it is first love then committment then fun

Preeti said...

Moi ...thanks :)..I have been busy doing nothing ..you know that kind of mood when you feel like doing nothing ..Now am glad I am kinda over it ...so You will see me around more often ..

when I first heard about it some years ago , my first reaction was same ...

Preeti said...

Pixie ...how u been the litle one ..I forgot to A rate it ..u stay away from the bog bad world ..:P

and I visited your site ...no blogs till date ??

Preeti said...

REnu : I agree in making love part ..Till date even I have never had sex for the sake of it .. but just for a while if we separate the issue from the person , like when its just about the threesome and i m not in picture ..what is your reaction then ?

Renu said...

A big NO !To me few things in life are very sacrosanct:)..you will be surprised that I feel how some of these celebrities live..I mean in a room full of 10 people most of them having slept with each other...may be I am too conservative:)..whatever, we cant experiment in everything:)

Vigneshwar said...

Would be a No,but wont be shocked if I know its happening in real,a good balanced post...

Preeti said...

REnu : i agree on this one ..we cant experiment in everything ..

Vigneshwar : Nice to hear a guy saying no :) ..

nsiyer said...

To me, sex is a very personal thing with the one you love. I have heard about this happening, and it is for each one to decide what he wants out of his life.

Americanising Desi said...

wow ... i felt like i was watching a sopa on tv :)
really!

and please dont disappear. i always miss readin you :_)

Preeti said...

Nsiyer : absolutely , to each its own ..we live in a free world ..

AD : life is more dramatic nowdays ...I discussed this with a friend in US , and he was like , damn is this happening in INdia ..:)

I wont go missing this time ...m here to stay :)

divinediu said...

Keeping EVERYTHING ELSE apart and by everything else I mean confidentiality...I figure the people who would do this are those who do not take sex so seriously emotionally. Those who have sex with the people they love, who want the intimacy will not have fun engaging in a threesome. But for someone who is just looking for fun..if this is just 'a wild night' where he/she doesn't really mind doing this and living his/her fantasy, it is heaven!!

divinediu said...

PS: I could never.

Vijay said...

Hi Friend.. This is Vijay here.. Ur doing a good job.. Shall we exchange links...

Vijay said...

This is happening in many places.. But my choice is NO..I feel it as dirty

eye-in-sty-in said...

lol... somethings in India are indeed shocking these days. Elsewhere, sex is a casual thing... a physical gratification of a need... but in india, where we (well, most) are raised with a deeper spiritual life, its shocking. but then, with indian soaps depicting relationships where everyone in the house has sept with everyone else, such conversations are bound to become more common... atleast you were able to keep your sense of humor intact in the face of such a proposition :-)
Reading your post makes me want to change a commonly used expression to something else - two is company, three is a crowd and four is an orgy!

Preeti said...

divinediu : true, the word is " wild " and people are more game in explorin the wild side ..

:)

Vijay : sure , i'll visit your blog and will blogroll you

Eye-in-sty-in: lol at the changed phrase..
indeed "we hypocrite Indians', I am amased at the soaps, they will give jackie collins a run for money ...
Infact in west concept of love and lust are well defined , we in india try to mix them.

O.F.C.J. said...

Hello Preeti. New to your blog. I know you ask for values adn whatnots to be put aside. but...well, I cannot. For what else would I live by? Judge by? No, I would not indulge in this kind of activity. It is, as moi said, "dirty". I love love love my body. It's amazing. An extremely rare creation and invention, and I DO NOT share it casually with ANYONE. And especially would never in multiples! Lol.

Also, I don't have a bf or anything right now. But if I did, For sooooo many reasons it would be out of the question. And I don't really think anyone I would be with would suggest it--unless they were momentarily possessed. God forbid. Lol.


www.overwhelmingfullness.blogspot.com


O.F.C.J.

eye-in-sty-in said...

the last line in your reply was right on the money!

Nothingman said...

I don't like to share.

N

deeps said...

haa finally you are back here ...
ummm time n situation will tell haha :-P

Sorcerer said...

hmm.....
thought provoking..

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

I am pretty selfish. I would want the man to be all mine. Also, I can not take two men at a time.

Casual Sex is alright but only if it is fun one on one. I think it just might get a little more than you really want. Thus, ending up not enjoying as much.

Kisses.

Preeti said...

O.F.C.J : I know what u mean ...can let anyone take my body for granted ...but then the people who can suggest a thing have nothing to do with u .. its totally their character not yours that make them suggest such a thing ...and its good if they can enjoy it :)

I was talking about morals / culture cos our culture is full of hypocricy , karte sab hain ..bas bolte nahin , and I rather prefer an individuals own opinion than whats been told to him/ her or what ought to be done in a society ..

welcome to my space ...and u'll see me frequently visiting urs..

Preeti said...

eye_in_sty_in: :D ..its sad but true

nothingman: thanks for coming here and sharing ur view

deeps : hehhehe ...let me know if u ever try ... :D

Socerer : yea ..we all read and hear such things daily ..its a differnt feling when u face it in real

Luscious: thats valid point also ...but mostly guys are keen on two women thing , its kinda everyman's fantasy ... but in reality i dont think that a man can satisfy two women at the same time .

and I agree casual sex and experimental sex are again two different things .

Vinod R Iyer said...

I dont understand what 3 can do that 2 cannot :). I guess it's some people's mode of having more fun. Ethical or not .. That should be left to the 3 of them .. or whatever number of them :)

shubham said...

Peolpe from diff cultures does nt feel the same passions and emotions in same situations... culture gives u emotional growth and stabilty and help u mark lines bw right and wrong... so my choice wud be dont loose ur roots(bcoz ppl do feel guilt...emotional imbalance .. anxiety even when they have nt hurt anyone or the society)...
so i prefer doing only those hings which i can tell to those i care of...and leave rest to fatacies!!!

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