Sunday, 24 January 2010

One Kid in the family ???

Keeping population in view and the time and effort it requires to raise a kid , most of the people are going for one kid per family nowadays .Even my brother and bhabhi are happy raising my 3 year old nephew .It’s been 3 wonderful but hectic years in my family . Everytime I call home , something or the other is going with Tanuj( my darling nephew). Many important decisions in family are based on him , from family outings to bhabhi’s college to choice of sofa covers( light colours are out till he grows up) to bringing home some furniture or artefacts (they shouldn’t have edges)to the kind of food is being cooked and list is endless .

He is given all attention and time , there is no hush hush to his questions. Everyone takes pain and effort to explain him simple things in life .It took him a day to understand that his Grand father is my father and his father my brother,when I appeared out of nowhere after a year, but nobody lost patience . As it’s not safe nowadays to send your kids to the neighbours to play , everyone take turns to keep him entertained. I was startled when mummy once said that he has an imaginary friend ‘Panuj’, with whom he plays and talks. Is he craving for his own age company, a friend a sibling??? May be ..

Things would change when he will be in school, he will find friends there , but what if he will long for a sister or a brother when he will see other friends talking about their brothers and sisters. My family is quite sure they don’t want another kid , and I respect that .I totally go crazy handling him for 1 hour. But, when I remember my childhood, it’s so beautiful because of the relation I had with my brother. We grew up like best friends, we still are .He is just 1 and half year younger to me , so we played and fought together ,shared secrets and sometimes even friends. The only pic I took while leaving home is a pic of me holding him in my lap when I was 3 year old and he of 1 and half.

At the same time , my mom was a home maker and bhabhi is still studying and intent to work from next year, and my mom is done with her share of raising children . I strongly believe grand-parents are there to lend a helping hand and not doing half of parenting .A child is sole responsibility of his/ her parent’s .So the decision should also be theirs. I cannot see myself raising two kids ( I am not even talking of giving birth here ), so I can understand what’s in bhabhi’s mind. Yet, something about single kid in a family bothers me.

15 comments:

Praveen said...

nuclear family r the norm these days..
gone r the days of 7-8 kids in a home..it was the norm int he past generation

Vinod R Iyer said...

I was thinking about this the other day too. Like your family, my family is centered around my nephew as well!! It is sad that he does not have friends around him to play with. I think at least living in a flat makes it easier on them to find friends and play with.

Renu said...

Earlier there were more kids than parents could handle, today only one.even all my siblings have one child only, but now they miss not having two...I think two are minimum, three best:)....what it is with this generation..just me myself..arey bhai bacche honge tabhi to aur relations honge:)

and yes grnad parents at the best can supervise, but they shouldnt be left with total responsibility.

Nilu said...

When I was pregnant with my first one, I was so sure, I would have only one kid. But after I had him, I felt he's be kind of lonely, so went for the second one. Haven't regretted it!

VagaBond said...

Heya ya longest time ever!!
Kept off blogville for quite some time now :(
About the post Hum do Hamara ek is naaice....yaar INDIA ka bhi toh sochna padta hai :P

moi said...

I think its upto them, we cant decide what is right for others

NOBODY said...

Birth is much but breeding is more. 加油! ....................................................

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Me too.

Hence I have decided to have kids when I am ready to give 100% of my time for at least 5-7 years to just parenting. It is a full time job and nothing compensates the experience of raising your children and see them grow every second in front of your eyes. :)

Kisses.

Renu said...

kahan ho ajkal?

BrownPhantom said...

Hey Preeti,

Good to see you back in action :)

I would have been a much worse person if not for a sibling :).

Sourav !!! said...

Don't know much about family planning and issues, haven't experienced marriage yet .. Neither m I someone who'd like getting burdened with 'extra' responsibilities ! ;)

Though what I liked about your post, was the subtle way of giving out a message .. And yes I'm here for the first time, and this makes sure I'll be coming here more often now .. Blogrolling and following you now ! :)

Wishes .. Sourav .. in love with me and life!! :)

shubham said...

in defence of one child:
>population :D
>less time by parents
>much much better social exposure these days with tv.. net..open mentality...appartment culture..etc

BUT I LOVE MY YOUNGER BROTHER... ONE OF THE BEST FREIND I EVER HAD...

單存 said...

Many a little makes a mickle...................................................

John Papers said...

Thanks this post..
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John Papers said...

Great Post!
Thanks..

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