Fantasies .... and reality :)

Last few days have been interesting, well! A little more than interesting. I had to take off from project as I desperately needed a break and haven’t been home (jammu) for more than a year now. still instead of rushing home to meet my darling nephew and spend some time with family , I just stayed at home at Bangalore .I thought I’ll be reading some technical stuff , but end up partying and reading novels ….and yes ,sleeping. I have been partying a lot of late, meeting new people and visiting new places, and with that come different experiences.

So, I went out with this cool couple .we had fun time .We talked crap all night and boozed and danced away the evening .And after two days , I get this message from this guy that what I think about threesome . He put this thought forward as if it was the most natural thing to follow after that evening .Surprisingly , I wasn’t appalled or even thrilled .My reaction was a hearty laugh at the thought and polite No as answer .In fact ,in theory I find multi-partner sex quite interesting , at the same time I cannot imagine myself a part of this sexual experimentation.

As far as I am considered, I cannot dream of sharing my partner with anyone , and at the same time I cannot be intimate with anyone unless I am really in love with the person . so, such an experimentation is out of question ..At least as of now. But at the same time , I don’t think it’s a bad deed for people who are anyways in relations because of reasons other than love .If it’s just for fun relation, then why not have more fun .

I discussed this with couple of my friends ..let me share the reactions.
First guy was like go ahead , we hardly meet such couples in real , there is no harm in trying this .And when I said , I am not interested , his reaction was “ Are you afraid of getting naked in front of a couple at the same time?” afraid was definitely what I was feeling .after few minutes he was like “ Do it if you are upto some fun and experimentation and if you like the couple ..or just say no and enjoy ..:) He was also pretty much cool with the idea.
The second dude suddenly was all attentive and wanted more details. How do I know the couple? How long we have been friends? What the guy exactly said ? What was my reply? What all we talked on that day when we were partying? And all such questions .after a brief analysis came the response “ What about converting threesome into foursome ?and then I disappointed him by telling that I don’t indulge in casual sex .Of course he was just teasing me but then I cannot rule out that this didn’t give him ideas.
I am yet to discuss this with my gal pals, will keep you guys posted of their reactions.
Now this situation made me sit down and think, Is casual sex for fun has really come out of fantasies and find a place in our homes. So, My question to you my fellow friends is “How would you react to this question/ situation in real life”. Has any one of you faced such situation and has anyone indulged in this in real? I know that most of the guys would jump at the opportunity, but I want to know if the same guy is really OK with his partner to be involved in this. have you ever discussed the topic with your partner ?I would particularly want to know what the ladies think about this. What would be your reaction if your partner suggests such experimentation? And if ever you are game for it, will you like to go with a known friend or a total stranger.
I know most people will publicly condemning the idea , it might be even disgusting to some .But here what I am looking for is not a debate on society , family values and culture .I am seeking answers about the feeling part .what’s your natural guilt free reaction to it ? Deep within what you think about the whole issue of multi-partner sex.

I wrote this all over a cup of coffee at 5:30 Am at the airport yesterday. Some thoughts just can’t stay in, they have to be poured .
More about the journey …in the next blog …and if you have noticed I am back to blogosphere after a long break.

Ten things ...

Tagged by Latin Sardar , I have to write 10 things about me that are not obvious ( lesser known)

1. I love art, flowers , tastefully decorated homes, artifects , paintings , theatre , even if I dont talk about it all the time and even if I am not good in recognising plants ,cannot paint , Act and struggle to keep my house sparkling clean.

2. I find it really hard to learn new language , even few basic words are tough for me .

3. I am very particular about food , I dont mind experimenting different cuisines , but its me who have to decide whether i'll taste the food or not.No u cannot make me even sample a spoonfull if I dont want to ... NO compromise here ..

4. Most of the things I do , I do them for a reason ...And the reason is ' I feel like doing it'. I cannot and will not give any logical reason .Facts and figues dont matter here.when I feel like doing something and if I can,I just go ahead and do it . Like last week I felt like painting a clay vase ....I did it in candlelight as there was no power at that time.when i want to do something , I cannot wait for even half an hour .

5. I loose my temper too soon , but not too often.

6. I love my friends and family a lot , but I dont mind being away from them ..I dont like being in the comfortable shell .Even if my parents will be in same city , I would rather choose to stay alone near by then in same house.

7. I like people who have some dreams , some ambition , some desires ....nothing turns me off than an aimless , dreamless life .... like people who say ' I have nice job, beautiful wife , car , home , what else i need ' ...its another thing to be thankful for what you have and another to be aimless.

8. I like people who are well toned, well dressed and well mannered , but this all have to look effortless . I appreciate a golden heart and intellgence but a litle effort to be presentable tells a lot about person.

9. My mind hardly sleeps ...its working non-stop,sometime I say two senetences that are not related because between these two sentences , I wud have thought about 3 more things in few seconds .

It does drive me crazy at times , especially when I cannot sleep as my mind choose to wander in unknown terrortries.

10 . I dont forget things , though I talk to 100's of people , I still remember what someone said 15 years ago ,even the minutest of detail.It amaze people and make then feel special. The negative is If u ever lie , I can connect links and make out .

and its over ...I could have written 10 more things ..or may be more ..someone please tag me again..

I think most of my friends have been tagged already , and if u are not , consider urself tagged ..

Longing for a date with myself

Amidst a hectic lifestyle and trying to be super-human; managing work, friends, family, love life and virtual life, we end up losing touch with the most important person, our own self. Even the so-called ‘Me time’ on weekends/ holidays is spent with other people and we end up being tired rather than relaxed. I, like many people around me, crave for that one day when I can have a date with myself. It should be easy right? There are no appointments to be made, no fees to be paid …wrong! It’s a hard realization that I am not that easily available to myself, not anymore. There are other things that have taken priority.

Sometimes I feel like packing my bags and going for a holiday just like that, to spend some time away from the maddening world around me. Ideally, I would love to switch off my phone and not check my mails /orkut/Facebook/blog. I would walk for hours on a beach, dance away the evenings and indulge in body spa for hours .I would love to visit some religious places and eat my favorite foods, meet new people and silently watch the sunset. I would love to sleep for a good 10 hours and do window-shopping the rest of the time. I wish I could shut out the worries of day to day life from my mind for a few days and enjoy peaceful sleep interrupted only by beautiful dreams.

I have been promising myself this date for long, where I will have my undivided attention and when I will spare no effort in pampering myself. I will listen to myself with patience like I have never done before and I will discover things about me that I never knew existed.

I hope I get to do that soon…

Best thing you can do with your lips

A Kiss can tell from where its coming ....

.......and a kiss can tell where its leading

A Kiss is the healthiest appetiser and the yummiest dessert. The magic of a kiss is unmatched as is its disappointment. It is often the first step towards an intimate relationship and sometimes the end of a potential love affair. To perfect the art of kissing you need to follow your heart more than any how-to book. A Kiss often reveals where its coming from : the mind, the heart, lust or desire. Often the eyes and words fail to express what a touch of lips on lips can convey. It is over-rated by some and just part of the customary foreplay before the main act for others. I have been thinking of the different kinds of kisses and I am sure there must be hundreds but here are a few that come to my mind :-

1. Feather touch :- A gentle brush of lips on lips, often the first kiss between lovers. The eyes are closed and the bodies slowly moving closer to each other. The lips quiver before they touch and then slowly explore the curves of the partner. It doesn’t deepen very soon and the lips part after sometime, when the lovers look at each other and often end up in a tight embrace celebrating that first kiss.

2. The Teaser :- With one person taking on the role of a teaser and exploring his/her partner’s lips in all possible ways, nibbling on the lower and upper lips in turn, using the tip of the tongue to tease just a bit...and drawing apart when the partner wants more .

Fun fun fun !!!
3. Twisted two :- A passionate wet kiss with the tongue exploring more than just the lips of the partner. You need to be careful with this one if your partner is not that experimental or if it’s the first time. Not everyone is up for twisted tongue fun but for the right couple it can lead to many magical moments.

4.Short and sweet:- It’s the straight-from-the-heart kind that is just another way of saying 'I love you' . It is best when least expected. It may not lead to anything immediately but it will stay with you for a long long time.

5. Quick and clumsy :- When it’s just a mechanical thing with the end result in mind you can end up making kissing boring and ineffective. This one is the biggest turn off.

6. Lick and go :- An unexpected lick round the corner of your lips in the middle of shopping, a movie or an outing with friends is more sensuous than any other kind of kiss especially when teamed with that 'I want you’ look in your eyes. It leaves you wanting more and it makes sure that you’ll rip off each other’s clothes the moment you are alone.

7. Never Ending passion:- Try kissing for as long as possible without breaking contact, setting records and breaking them often. It’s fun when you discover that your partner’s lips are the most delicious thing you’ve ever tasted.

8.Chocolate treat:- Get dirty with a kiss. Play with a piece of chocolate, try to get it from each other’s mouth… till the chocolate and lips taste the same.

9.Any place but lips :- This one is another teaser. Get close and passionate, play this game of not kissing on the lips but everywhere else ...see how long you can control that temptation.

10. Please add your fav here .... Every one has their own fav way of savouring the lips of his/her partner..

P.S :- All terms are coined by me ...

Sex and the City

I do absolutely love the serial and the movie ...but I am not going to discuss it here...


It just hit me one of these days when my colleague was discussing on the image factor in Office. our ‘sex ‘ is still being judged under the narrow scales of pseudo –morality standards in this city as in any other city .Small or big, metro or retro, IT driven or Business dominated.

She told me not to mention my marital status in office because then things will be different as many people already think I am being unwise in taking control of my life.

I am more professional than anyone else in office and my seniors know that .They judge me on my work and that’s enough for me. I don’t need opinion of Mr. anybody’s of office as to whom to talk and how to dress up. I have been told at least hundred times that I am the best professionally dressed up woman in my office. I can but sympathize with others who just see skirts.


People are too eager to classify and categorize you, if you are wearing skirts, drinking and moving around with guys, you are bad girl, who don’t value culture and religion. I just choose to ignore people with such mentality. I am well over the age when I can choose what to wear and what to drink and whom to hang out with … thanks guys I don’t like things that are free, and that include your advices.

And then people raising an eyebrow every time you mention you live alone …do I need to mention why they do so. Guys! There is much more in life than boyfriends and sex.


It’s another problem to be strong independent women (I would like to keep that face even if I am dying inside). You are heartless and insensitive if you don’t cry and look pathetic. You are a suspect when you are not blaming, and you are arrogant and aloof when you are not publicly washing your dirty laundry .your silence and smile can be your most devious enemies at times. Call me whatever you want to, I smile in public and cry alone.


And I love my life in spite of the odds …

Unsettling things about settling down

Marriage is suppose to be one of the most awaited event in someone’s life .I agree it need some planning, preparation and discussions. I don’t blame parents to be concerned about the marriage of their children, but there has to be a line, a limit of pushing beyond certain threshold and some scope of open communication. This is especially true in case of girls.

When a girl reaches a certain age, everyone in the house, neighborhood and relations make match-making their business. All the actions are scrutinized keeping one aim in mind ‘marriage’.

If she gets into a good B school or job, people will say ‘now she would get good offers from well educated guys’.

Even today people don’t understand that a girl doesn’t study to get a decent match, she studies so that she can learn , judge , opt , work , earn and be independent, just like a guy. One of my friends was enthusiastic about the certification she is planning to get through by the year end. Her very ambitious brother in law didn’t even let her complete the sentence and remarked ‘your plan now should be to settle down’.

Some people try to project themselves as modern parents by openly announcing,’ we don’t mind her choosing her own partner as long as he is of our religion (cast, region), well educated, from a good family and having a steady (well paid) job”. So much for freedom!!

Daily I hear one or the other friend of mine struggling to convince her parents simple things like ‘ I am just not ready’ or ‘ It ain’t working for me’.

Another friend is fed up of talking to guys and every time she has to device a new excuse to tell ‘This is not the guy I’ll be like to share rest of my life’. I hate the trauma she goes through every time a new guy comes into picture .same questions, same apprehensions, same tamasha and same result. Now parents have zeroed down two guys and she has to pick one.What a choice...She said ‘I do rather do heads and tails and pick anyone because I like none’. But her parents are not listening.

One of my very good friends has left India and is definitely not coming back. Whenever her parents talk about marriage she simply hangs the phone.

All of these girls are good looking in their mid 20’s or late 20’s , single and open to love , and not ready to marry unless they are in love and 100 percent ready to spend their lives with the guy . They won’t marry if their parents won’t approve, but they won’t just marry to anyone their parents will choose.

I don’t know when people will accept that things are changing now and girls are not just a responsibility that you have to hand over to someone else and get tension free. And a girl has every right to say no for marriage if ‘ she don’t feel like kissing the guy’ ..:-)

A night in the cave

A dream, almost real
As I see it with open eyes
Of a night in a cave
With you by my side
Cave, yes a real cave
Home of a wild beast once
Rough and withered
Warm in a cold winter night
That’s the only comfort it provides
We can burn some wood sticks
For warmth and light

It calls me many a times
Me, unaware of roughness
I wonder why
Creepy insects, snakes perhaps
Will still inhibit it
Yes I am afraid of them

But still I want to be there
But with you by my side
Isolated from world
Webs! Uh the sight of them
I can’t stand
But it will be temporary abode
Of un-inhibited desires
I might not be aware
Of their existence
You will be having
My undivided devotion

We will carve few pictures
With stones on the walls
That will be discovered byCrazy people like us
Sometimes in future
If someone will take the same walk
We will talk about the past and future
Some real things
And dream some dreams together

I would love that look
In your eyes
Reflecting flames of the fire
When you will touch my hands
And share your desire
Your arms around me
To care and protect
And to tease for a while
I’ll take my turn

Scare you with a scream
And will be amused
At the changing expressions
When you get relief
Of me being fine
I’ll lie in your arms
And go into a deep slumber
Knowing that you will be awake
So that I can have a peaceful dream

~~ Last few days ~~

Though I have been around the blogspot and there was too much happening in my life ….this is my first post this year …few updates


My company is in news all over. Even if you happen to read news once in a while u can guess which IT company I work for .It was traumatic to deal with the queries of all the people I know on earth . Suddenly everyone is excited (not concerned) weather I will be getting my salary or not. It’s not over yet but still much better now.. and I am just like before cool and chilled out and love my company , my clients and my work .Period.

My family is really awesome …my dad and mom want to come to me and take me out for holidays because I am ( my company ) going through tough times and need some time away to relax… love you guys …

My best friend is a sweetheart for saying, ‘‘don‘t worry, I am there for you “… I don’t need any help...but sometimes these little words at right time are just perfect to make your day.
I have been addicted to http://www.highheelconfidential.com … I may not agree with everything but its hell lot of fun.

I came across different job offers from various fields..and have been thinking about all the things that I wanted to do in life apart from this job … it made me feel better even if that’s not going to pay my bills ..

I read 1000 splendid suns … it’s a wonderful book ... I love Happy endings ..:-)

Did not do any shopping … that’s kind of a record …

Have been more disciplined on my diet and daily routine...So far so good